It has been such long time. I know, I know. I honestly just needed a break from social media. Life was getting very overwhelming and I have got this habit of completely shutting down when I can not take it anymore. In order to prevent that, I figured it was best to take a break from my online activities and focus on the real world and all the things battling for attention.
But I am back now! I will try my best not to disappear again in May. I am already staring at my calendar like, Jesus take the wheel! Haha. Anyway, today, I will be giving a bit of life update and sharing my weight gain story.
I am a bridal designer and I absolutely love what I do. Anyone who knows me, know that I will go any length to ensure that the final product is the stiff the bride’s dreams are made of. So, go on, if you are a bride-to-be or you know someone who is, go on, click that link. Recommend us!! 😀
While I was away, I was slaving away (l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y) on my May bride, who happens to be my older sister!! Yep, she is getting married in May and you know it’s about to be a serious lit-u-ation (lit + situation) with that gown! I am excited and I can not wait to share all the fun pictures. I just had to take a break when my daily routine became wake up-eat-bead for five hours-nap-wake up and bead again-eat dinner- bead-sleep. I became ill a few times but I am super grateful for the chance to create a beautiful, regal piece for my sister.
Moving on, this may not come as a surprise but for almost a year, I have posted only selfies and not so many full length pictures of myself. I have also been very unforgiving of people who make tactless comments about my weight gain. Without consciously realising it, I had gotten into this mindset where I hated my body and resented the fact that despite all my efforts, the weight only seemed to increase.
So, let’s get into it before I lose my nerve. In June 2016, I had intense cramps. I mean, I have very intense cramps every month but this month, I knew something was up. The pain was intense-r, lol. This picture below is the perfect decription.
After speaking with my doctor friend, I followed up on his advice and found a diagnostic centre to get myself checked. Let’s just say I was very grateful that my mom came with me. By the time the doctor asked me his first question, I knew something was up. “Signs of Endometriosis/ Polycystic Ovary Syndrome”, he said. He explained all these in detail. I have to say I was weirdly relieved when he mentioned PCOS as a direct cause of weight gain.
Fast forward, a year later, I am starting to accept the changes in my body. I was quite depressed for a while. I’d stare at clothing I wore just months ago and be so frustrated when I realised I could barely fit into it anymore. I refused to create new pieces for fear that meant I was mentally agreeing with the weight gain.
Today, I am still doing a lot of research and trying to learn the best and healthy ways to handle my health and my body. However, the most important part of this whole journey is learning to love myself and the skin I am in. That probably sounds very cliche but I assure you, it means a huge deal to me. I am accepting that that is the way my body is right now and I need to also accept that it is up to me to work hard and consistently to get the body I desire.
Finally before I leave, April is actually Endometriosis Awareness month. It is what encouraged me to share my story. I strongly recommend that you simply do not dismiss your painful menstrual periods as just that. Get checked and rule out endometriosis. It is better to be sure than sorry! Here is a short overview about Endometriosis, just in case you didn’t know:
“Endometriosis is the abnormal growth of cells (endometrial cells) similar to those that form the inside of the uterus, but in a location outside of the uterus. Endometriosis is most commonly found on other organs of the pelvis. Some of the symptoms may include: pelvic pain during menstruation or ovulation, painful sexual intercourse, painful bowel movement or urination, infertility.“
For more information, check out this website from one of the bravest women and Endo Warrior I know: Millen Magese Foundation/Endometriosis. Also, you can donate towards her work in Endometriosis Awareness and finding a cure.
Thank you and have a wonderful week!